Report: Mens 2nd XI vs Grimsby 1st XI – September 20, 2025
“Grimsby brought Olympic-level seriousness. We brought chaos…and a pint”
The Men’s 2s turned up to face Grimsby 1s with a half-decent squad, a few weary 1s players doubling up, and zero expectation of civility from the opposition — who apparently believed a gold medal was at stake. Spoiler: it wasn’t.
The first half was a masterpiece of chaos. Steve Seymour hurled an aerial off the side of the pitch like it was 1899, forgetting that sticks now have curves and physics have advanced. Max finally showed up, fashionably late as usual, and immediately redefined “athletic confusion.” Ant finally located his scoring shoes from last week, slotting in two goals, while Ben somehow reverse-finished one despite being functionally blind from two games in a row. Rob heroically shifted from centre forward to centre back, proving that being confused counts as versatility. Adam did “outfield mediocre” as standard, Sam’s hamstring threatened mutiny, young Dan ran like the hounds of hell were behind him, and Harry turned up in fancy dress as a wannabe biker — zero points for practicality, ten points for commitment. Charlie, meanwhile, quietly put in a shift that made you actually notice him, which is high praise in a room full of chaos.
Garrath in goal was part saviour, part anxiety specialist, pulling off some stunning stops but keeping everyone on edge in equal measure. Ethan and Ed ran tirelessly, though their magic remains a work in progress. And Max… bless him — he contributed roughly 50% energy, 30% bewilderment, and 20% general chaos. Honestly, watching him run is like observing a new experimental sport: “interpretive hockey.”
By full time, it read 6–3 to Grimsby, but morale was untouchable. Everyone put in a heroic shift, every pint afterward was fully earned, and the Men’s 2s proved that losing with style is a skill in itself. Special praise to Dave and Steve, who not only ran, tackled, and thought on the pitch but also kept the off-field admin, kit, and logistics running smoothly — the unsung heroes of the club day.
MOM – Max (I think?? can’t Remember TBH..)
DOTD – Ethan, Deserved.